Nasty creature! There is a sequal that can be watched "Zilla Poop Fart 2"
 |
| Submitted by TheModernPoo |
Monday, March 7, 2011
Youtube Poop!
Nation! I am lazy and school has been getting craz so apologies about the lack of updates. Here is a badass vid as well as some of my famous "hanging poo"
Nasty creature! There is a sequal that can be watched "Zilla Poop Fart 2"
Daily.... I go to the library... just to take a shit. oops
Nasty creature! There is a sequal that can be watched "Zilla Poop Fart 2"
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Why so serious?
 |
| Submitted by: TheModernPoo |
This artistic classic was done on a stall door at a University. Need to experiment in this new medium method of art
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Importance of Poo
Nation! This wonderful and deeply philosophical article was found online and I would like to share it with you. This is from a blog called Modern Philosophy, "The Poo Cycle".
"
"
The Poo Cycle
Our respect for nature should be all-encompassing; it should even extend to poo, because poo is not disgusting, it's really quite magnificent!
I remember rattling along a dirt road in an open truck in Zimbabwe and seeing in the middle of the road up ahead an enormous pile of elephant dung - so fresh that it was faintly steaming. Stopping in front of it our guide jumped out, rolled up his sleeve and inserted his arm up to the elbow. He fished around for a moment then pulled out a large seed - the undigested stone of the plum-like Morula. He explained that the Morula fruit was a favourite food of elephants and that the seed had to pass through the elephant’s digestive tract before it could germinate.
Growing up on a farm and having trod on cow pats and experienced the grotesque delight of having it squelch up between my toes, I was rather nonchalant about the concept of plunging into warm poo. Defecation is, of course, as natural as eating and occurs just about as often, and a herbivore’s poo is nowhere near as rank as a carnivore’s. But my reaction wasn’t shared by all; some felt that feeling around in fresh excrement was repulsive.
My experience in Zimbabwe was an example of a wildlife guide who saw dung as a source of information about his work, but in some communities dung actually becomes part of people’s homes.
Many residents of the Tibetan Plateau live in houses where the family dung mingles with that of their domestic animals. Yak dung is the fuel for almost all their heating and cooking needs and the accumulation is never cleared away - whatever is surplus to requirement simply piles up on the floor until it comes close to the ceiling, at which time the house is abandoned.
Most of us in the western world, however, have an aversion to poo - despite the fact that our urban environments are covered with thousands of tons of dog excrement, much of which disintegrates, blows about, and fills the air we breathe. It’s a response that develops in tandem with habits of cleanliness, but its effect is to distance us from nature. It’s a pity because when the subject of poo is understood conceptually, it is actually very beautiful.
The Morula tree wants its fruit to be eaten by elephants because it wants its seed to have the best possible start in life. And what better start could there be than a dark roller-coaster ride down the warm, moist digestive tract of an elephant? Caressed by waves of peristalsis and safe from the desiccating effects of the sun and wind, the seed can relax as its fleshy coat is removed, not by an attentive butler, but the action of warm digestive juices. As its hard shell is softened the seed activates its internal processes, ready for the climactic end to its long aqua-slide, where it plops out onto the ground. And then the final unexpected thrill as it is buried in a warm, moist wigwam of nutrients. What better send-off into the big, wide world could the Morula give its progeny than to entice an elephant over for lunch?
It’s certainly an elegant win/win situation; everyone gets what they want, no-one is taken advantage of and both parties are better off. The Morula wants its fruit eaten and the elephant wants to eat it, sometimes waiting a few days for the flesh to ferment for the extra enjoyment of a Morula liquor. The elephant eventually wants to defecate and the tree wants to feed off its excrement … and so on. It’s a beautiful thing.
So the next time you’re standing near a tree, take a moment to consider this extraordinary cycle. Say, for example, you’re in front of an apple tree. Think about how the tree offers you its fruit from above, how you ingest it from above, absorb its goodness and convert the rest downwards into poo; how you release this to the earth below, how the tree receives it from below, absorbs its goodness and converts it upwards into fruit, and offers it to be eaten. It makes you feel duty-bound to give your waste to the soil, rather than - as we so often do - send it out to sea.
Our dung is our gift to the vegetable kingdom, and to the vegetable kingdom it is more valuable than gold, because it plays an important part not only in its growth but also in its ability to create future generations. Dung is the first great stimulator of the food chain, and the food we reap is our gift in return. The poo-cycle is a beautiful cycle, and together with the sun it sustains all life on this planet. How tragic it would be to see it as disgusting, when it is - in reality - quite magnificent! "
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Strange Toilet Pic
 |
| Submitted by: TheModernPoo I was going to the ivory throne last week and BAM. I saw this....I wasn't sure what to make from the situation. So I did the logical thing and took a camera pic. This is my theory: the toilet was backed-the-fuck-up, this resulted in the repair folk to come and plunge the shit, thus explaining the very lovely brown rings. This is the inaugural picture of a new photo category - "great toilets" |
Monday, February 7, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
"Poo Chasing Poo"
 |
| Submitted by: TheModernPoo |
This is a picture of 'poo chasing poo', it clearly looks like the little shits are racing to get up to the bigger poo
"RETURN OF THE PHANTOM SHITTER"
Taken from Craigslist: "RETURN OF THE PHANTOM SHITTER", 2004-12-02, 9:43AM EST
As many of you read back in June (6/7/04), I am still the Phantom Shitter. Although I had taken some time off, I want you to know, that much like Arnold Schwarzenegger, I AM BACK. First let me explain my departure. I had gotten two bonuses, which almost felt like raises (even though they were a one time deal) and I had gotten promoted. Promoted? Yes! I thought I would finally get that raise I had been entitled to, and lobbying for through my defecation terrorism. The 1st pay check of that raise came in last month. Four hundred motherfucking dollars! Not per week or per month. Per year!!! As a result, the Phantom Shitter has returned to my office, and boy is he pissed.
I announced my return to my co-workers my taking a dump, and then using to the toilet paper to write �I�m back� in shit across the reception room. My boss saw this, yelled �oh fuck� and called the police.
The smell growing in the men�s locker room? You guessed it, I shat on a paper plate, placed it in one of the vented lockers, and slapped on a Master lock. That should fossilize in a few months.
The stained carpet in the main hallway? Me also. When I had diarrhea a few weekends ago, I drove to the office (making several stops along the way) at 3am. I stripped naked, and taking a page out of my dog�s playbook, crab-walked down the hallway while expelling a liquid stream of greenish shit. I am impressed with my own distance of 30+ feet.
It was me who dropped the corn-filled turds in not one, but all three of the boss�s coffee cups. Starbucks again motherfucker!!!
The missing fichus tree? Um, yeah, I definitely got it. What added to my enjoyment was that it took a week for the secretary to identify the cause of the smell. I had to laugh out loud when I saw that fichus hanging half out of the dumpster one morning.
The missing fish tank in the chief engineer�s office? I really let a man-sized turd go in that one. Rumor has it when the CE saw the poop floating near his now dead fish, he through the whole damn thing in the parking lot behind the office.
To allay suspicion, I even shat in my own trash can one night. One day�s unpleasantness is indeed a small price to pay for my continued activities.
It was me who shat on the portrait of the company founder. Only part of it rolled off when the picture was re-hung.
It was me that shit near the intake of our HVAC system.
It was me that crapped in the Executive bathroom�s urinal
And it will be me that does not stop until everyone here quits, or I get a damned raised, beyond the friggin COLA. I will keep you all updated as this progresses over the next few months.
Love,
The Phantom Shitter
I announced my return to my co-workers my taking a dump, and then using to the toilet paper to write �I�m back� in shit across the reception room. My boss saw this, yelled �oh fuck� and called the police.
The smell growing in the men�s locker room? You guessed it, I shat on a paper plate, placed it in one of the vented lockers, and slapped on a Master lock. That should fossilize in a few months.
The stained carpet in the main hallway? Me also. When I had diarrhea a few weekends ago, I drove to the office (making several stops along the way) at 3am. I stripped naked, and taking a page out of my dog�s playbook, crab-walked down the hallway while expelling a liquid stream of greenish shit. I am impressed with my own distance of 30+ feet.
It was me who dropped the corn-filled turds in not one, but all three of the boss�s coffee cups. Starbucks again motherfucker!!!
The missing fichus tree? Um, yeah, I definitely got it. What added to my enjoyment was that it took a week for the secretary to identify the cause of the smell. I had to laugh out loud when I saw that fichus hanging half out of the dumpster one morning.
The missing fish tank in the chief engineer�s office? I really let a man-sized turd go in that one. Rumor has it when the CE saw the poop floating near his now dead fish, he through the whole damn thing in the parking lot behind the office.
To allay suspicion, I even shat in my own trash can one night. One day�s unpleasantness is indeed a small price to pay for my continued activities.
It was me who shat on the portrait of the company founder. Only part of it rolled off when the picture was re-hung.
It was me that shit near the intake of our HVAC system.
It was me that crapped in the Executive bathroom�s urinal
And it will be me that does not stop until everyone here quits, or I get a damned raised, beyond the friggin COLA. I will keep you all updated as this progresses over the next few months.
Love,
The Phantom Shitter
"Yesterday was hell"
Taken from Craigslist: "Yesterday was Hell", 2008-07-15, 11:51AM EDT
All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathroom. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 0 through 4 (I write a lot of software) for your convenience:
0.Occupied
1.Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.
2.Poo on seat.
3.Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.
4.No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet.
Clearly, it had to be Stall #1. I trudged back, entered, dropped trou and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful Shitter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot.
I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. Shitter was blathering to Mrs. Shitter about the shitty day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier.
Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder in one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently.
-
Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent: (1) The next-door conversation had ceased; (2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come; and (3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench.
It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.
"Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with the suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??"
Next door I could hear fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up... in my mouth.... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.
Alas, it is evidently difficulty to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by a string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet.
After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.
As I left, I glanced to the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know.
I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has manged to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.
0.Occupied
1.Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.
2.Poo on seat.
3.Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.
4.No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet.
Clearly, it had to be Stall #1. I trudged back, entered, dropped trou and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful Shitter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot.
I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. Shitter was blathering to Mrs. Shitter about the shitty day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier.
Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder in one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently.
-
Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent: (1) The next-door conversation had ceased; (2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come; and (3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench.
It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.
"Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with the suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??"
Next door I could hear fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up... in my mouth.... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.
Alas, it is evidently difficulty to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by a string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet.
After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.
As I left, I glanced to the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know.
I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has manged to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.
Ass cleaning tips
Posted on Craigslist: "Ass Cleaning Tips", 2008-07-15, 11:51AM EDT
Ass cleaning tips
I have mastered the art of cleaning my stool hall and I want to share it with you losers who simply lather your wash cloth with some soap and do a quick reach around..THAT WILL NOT CLEAN YOUR ASS!!!! You need to spend at least 5 minutes in that area to have maximun cleanage. How would you feel if you were a girl/guy and while you were licking some guys sausage you get a nice whiff of some anal grease and dingleberries from a soft textured turd that required about 12 wipes in the public restroom? You think it's clean but it is NOT!!! Here are some tips:
Tip 1: After dropping the fecal children off at the pool, you can either use some babywipes (my personal favorite) or you can use a technique I learned from an ex-girlfriend of mine, you wet the toilet paper and proceed to wipe front-to-back, NOT back-to-front. You risk sliding some of the grease beneath your ball sack which creates another problem. This only applies to those who do not get what is called a perfect excrement session aka.."A Clean Break" to where the ca-ca breaks off completely and all you have to do is wipe the water off your gluteus after the initial plop.
Tip 2: Shave the hair off around your rectal, nuts and butt crack. This is just common knowledge, if you dont you risk piling up a weeks worth of dingleberries and in rare occasions, creation of shit dreadlocks to where the ca-ca firmly laminates itself to the ass hair and it twists together as you walk. This is more likely to happen to those who wear boxers because of the free "airflow" and those who dont shower often because you give the poop time to dry up like cement.
Tip 3: Jump into a public pool or spa. This is just as effective as a shower or even better because you get maximum "soakage" and it requires less work such and combats lazy reach arounds in the shower. Believe it or not, that is the only useful purpose for public pools, I think of them as gigantic bathtubs that goggle up loose ass hairs, dingleberries and makes a great place to take a quick pee. If I find myself in that situation, I just jump in the pool on one end, pee then swim to the other end, do a couple quick 360's under water then jump out the shallow side and dry off.
Tip 4: Go to the beach and be a good samaritan, jump into the ocean and "feed the fish", fish LOVE dung, I have 2 goldfish and they are always sucking eachothers doo-doo holes. Get a nice, salty ass treatment. For those of you who gets bumps after shaving your pubes or ass, this is a great to dry those up. Just simply go out past the waves a bit, however, dont be too obvious if you are going to release some bait into the ocean. Flop around a bit, move around because if you sit still people will become suspicious and besides the poop might float up to the surface quickly. Fish will love you for it!
Tip 5: Woman love to get manicures and pedicures, I call this the "assicure" It has a meaningful name Ass I Cure, it's self explanitory..yes, it is up to you to cure that hideous ass smell and here is how you do it in the shower. Pamper yourself, get the water luke warm and try to get the shower nozzle to propel the water quickly. Begin by turning in the opposite direction of the shower, about 180 degrees to where the nozzle in shooting directly down your ass crack. Position yourself at a 90 degree angle, butt up nice and high, reach around and spread your butt cheeks and let the water do its magic. The object is to really clean out the crevices of your brown eye, wedged up about a 1/4 inch of the butthole is some fecal matter that masks itself like a bat in a cave. This will allow the water to loosen it up for the wash cloth lathering. The next step is to lather your wash cloth with some bodywash or soap bar. Reach around and scrub it good, go ahead and wrap the towel around a finger of choice (i use my middle finger) and put that finger up your asshole and move it around in a circular motion. Go ahead and scrub nice and good up the butt crack to make sure you get all the grease. After you are done, rinse well then repeat step 1.
ADDITIONAL NOTE: Putting your finger in your ass doesnt make you gay, it might burn a bit. For those guys who insist on having anal sex with their girlfriends all the time, if you think one finger hurts, go ahead and use two fingers and see how it feels. It feels like a massive shit you take in the morning after a night of drinking and eating the 4 slices of jalepeno pepper pizza.
That is all for now party people, hope this hass been insightful. I would love some feedback from possible success stories.
Please read some of them now.
" I would like to thank you for your ass cleaning tips, it has changed my life. My g/f is giving me head all day and night"
"Wow, my ass has never been cleaner. I feel more confident and got my dream job"
"I love to feed the fish, thanks Rick...my ass used to be filled with pimples and anal grease but now my ass is as smooth as a babies bottom, I feel like a kid again, thanks"
" I used to mask my ass smell with cologne and other junk, I have tried so many other techniques but yours is by far the best. I am now engaged to a playboy model"
Siskel & Roeper give it "Two middle fingers up"
P.S. I AM OFFERING FREE SERVICE TO LADIES WHO WANT TO GIVE ME HEAD JUST TO SEE HOW A PROFESSIONAL COLON CLEANSING SHOULD BE LIKE
I have mastered the art of cleaning my stool hall and I want to share it with you losers who simply lather your wash cloth with some soap and do a quick reach around..THAT WILL NOT CLEAN YOUR ASS!!!! You need to spend at least 5 minutes in that area to have maximun cleanage. How would you feel if you were a girl/guy and while you were licking some guys sausage you get a nice whiff of some anal grease and dingleberries from a soft textured turd that required about 12 wipes in the public restroom? You think it's clean but it is NOT!!! Here are some tips:
Tip 1: After dropping the fecal children off at the pool, you can either use some babywipes (my personal favorite) or you can use a technique I learned from an ex-girlfriend of mine, you wet the toilet paper and proceed to wipe front-to-back, NOT back-to-front. You risk sliding some of the grease beneath your ball sack which creates another problem. This only applies to those who do not get what is called a perfect excrement session aka.."A Clean Break" to where the ca-ca breaks off completely and all you have to do is wipe the water off your gluteus after the initial plop.
Tip 2: Shave the hair off around your rectal, nuts and butt crack. This is just common knowledge, if you dont you risk piling up a weeks worth of dingleberries and in rare occasions, creation of shit dreadlocks to where the ca-ca firmly laminates itself to the ass hair and it twists together as you walk. This is more likely to happen to those who wear boxers because of the free "airflow" and those who dont shower often because you give the poop time to dry up like cement.
Tip 3: Jump into a public pool or spa. This is just as effective as a shower or even better because you get maximum "soakage" and it requires less work such and combats lazy reach arounds in the shower. Believe it or not, that is the only useful purpose for public pools, I think of them as gigantic bathtubs that goggle up loose ass hairs, dingleberries and makes a great place to take a quick pee. If I find myself in that situation, I just jump in the pool on one end, pee then swim to the other end, do a couple quick 360's under water then jump out the shallow side and dry off.
Tip 4: Go to the beach and be a good samaritan, jump into the ocean and "feed the fish", fish LOVE dung, I have 2 goldfish and they are always sucking eachothers doo-doo holes. Get a nice, salty ass treatment. For those of you who gets bumps after shaving your pubes or ass, this is a great to dry those up. Just simply go out past the waves a bit, however, dont be too obvious if you are going to release some bait into the ocean. Flop around a bit, move around because if you sit still people will become suspicious and besides the poop might float up to the surface quickly. Fish will love you for it!
Tip 5: Woman love to get manicures and pedicures, I call this the "assicure" It has a meaningful name Ass I Cure, it's self explanitory..yes, it is up to you to cure that hideous ass smell and here is how you do it in the shower. Pamper yourself, get the water luke warm and try to get the shower nozzle to propel the water quickly. Begin by turning in the opposite direction of the shower, about 180 degrees to where the nozzle in shooting directly down your ass crack. Position yourself at a 90 degree angle, butt up nice and high, reach around and spread your butt cheeks and let the water do its magic. The object is to really clean out the crevices of your brown eye, wedged up about a 1/4 inch of the butthole is some fecal matter that masks itself like a bat in a cave. This will allow the water to loosen it up for the wash cloth lathering. The next step is to lather your wash cloth with some bodywash or soap bar. Reach around and scrub it good, go ahead and wrap the towel around a finger of choice (i use my middle finger) and put that finger up your asshole and move it around in a circular motion. Go ahead and scrub nice and good up the butt crack to make sure you get all the grease. After you are done, rinse well then repeat step 1.
ADDITIONAL NOTE: Putting your finger in your ass doesnt make you gay, it might burn a bit. For those guys who insist on having anal sex with their girlfriends all the time, if you think one finger hurts, go ahead and use two fingers and see how it feels. It feels like a massive shit you take in the morning after a night of drinking and eating the 4 slices of jalepeno pepper pizza.
That is all for now party people, hope this hass been insightful. I would love some feedback from possible success stories.
Please read some of them now.
" I would like to thank you for your ass cleaning tips, it has changed my life. My g/f is giving me head all day and night"
"Wow, my ass has never been cleaner. I feel more confident and got my dream job"
"I love to feed the fish, thanks Rick...my ass used to be filled with pimples and anal grease but now my ass is as smooth as a babies bottom, I feel like a kid again, thanks"
" I used to mask my ass smell with cologne and other junk, I have tried so many other techniques but yours is by far the best. I am now engaged to a playboy model"
Siskel & Roeper give it "Two middle fingers up"
P.S. I AM OFFERING FREE SERVICE TO LADIES WHO WANT TO GIVE ME HEAD JUST TO SEE HOW A PROFESSIONAL COLON CLEANSING SHOULD BE LIKE
To the beautiful lady who saw me pooping - m4w
Craigslist - Poop Stories, "To the beautiful lady who saw me pooping - m4w", 2009-11-13, 10:38PM EST
Me: Taking a huge poop in the l5p pizza bathroom.
You: Drunk, beautiful, Discovered that I forgot to lock the door in my haste.
Look, I know it must have been awkward for you to see me in that state, and especially since it didnt seem to bother me that you walked in. We made eye contact for a brief moment, you have the most beautiful brown eyes (no pun intended). I said "hey beautiful lady" right as you slammed the door, and i meant it. Everyone poops, and now that you have seen me pooping, I feel like we have already moved our relationship to a higher level. If you read this, and feel the same way, respond... I hope the smell didnt offend you, I ate indian food for lunch..
You: Drunk, beautiful, Discovered that I forgot to lock the door in my haste.
Look, I know it must have been awkward for you to see me in that state, and especially since it didnt seem to bother me that you walked in. We made eye contact for a brief moment, you have the most beautiful brown eyes (no pun intended). I said "hey beautiful lady" right as you slammed the door, and i meant it. Everyone poops, and now that you have seen me pooping, I feel like we have already moved our relationship to a higher level. If you read this, and feel the same way, respond... I hope the smell didnt offend you, I ate indian food for lunch..
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Poo and Sex
While looking online for sexual fetishes related to poo to talk about I came across this thread on topix called "Poo and Sex, Fantastic Mix!".
Judge it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)